Breast Cancer
In June 2006 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. This is a diary of my subsequent treatment and recovery which I hope will help others to realize that there will be an end to it and life can get back to normal.
I can never be the person I was however I'm not sure I would want to be. Cancer has made me realize what is important in life and to appreciate what I have a lot more.
| 3rd June 2006 | Steve found a lump in my right breast. To me it seemed attached to the rest of the tissue but you could definitely place two fingers either side and move it from side to side. Of course it was a Friday so I waited till Monday to ring. I wasn't worried at this time and thought nothing of it. |
| 6th June 2006 | Rang the doctor and made an appointment |
| 7th June 2006 | Saw the doctor who said he would refer me for a scan immediately |
| 12th June 2006 | Went for the tests at a "one stop clinic" in Clayton Hospital in Wakefield. I still wasn't worried so went along on my own. My appointment was 2.30pm and I came out at 5.30pm. I had a doctor's appointment, then a mammogram, then an ultra scan then a biopsy. Then I saw the doctor again who said it was a 3 in 5 chance it was cancer. I drove home in shock. |
| 16th June 2006 | Results day. Steve came with me.
We were told that it is cancer and were given the options for treatment. It
required surgery to remove it and I could either have a partial mastectomy
and radiotherapy or a full mastectomy and less chance of having to have
radiotherapy. Then I could have immediate reconstruction or wait until a few
months before having reconstruction if I wanted it. They wouldn't know about
radiotherapy or chemotherapy until the operation was done. After a short talk with the Breast Care nurse I decided on a full mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. I have always thought that I would choose a full mastectomy in this scenario and also liked the sound of immediate reconstruction as it would be progress towards an end of sorts. |
| 17th June 2006 | Steve's birthday. His daughter Rosie had arranged to come over and we were going for a run. Steve and I had a long talk about who to tell, why to tell etc and we decided to tell everybody. It is one of the hardest things to do as you haven't come to terms with it yourself yet. Rosie was great, very comforting and we went for a run on the moors anyway. |
| 18th June 2006 | It was all arranged that there was to be a surprise 70th party for my aunt in Devon. My brother was arriving back from holiday and driving straight down to Devon. It was hard to know what to do. I said I couldn't ruin her birthday but also couldn't be normal in front of my brother. We rang him and got him to meet us on route without telling him why. This makes me cry even now - telling him was just so upsetting. We went on to the party and it went very well. |
| 19th June 2006 | We stayed the night with my cousin Carolyn and on Monday morning told her which was fine. This is one thing I found out; some people take it very well, others need some time for it to sink in before they can talk, some can't talk to you at all. It was upsetting at first when people wouldn't talk about it until I realized that it didn't mean they didn't care just that it was their way of dealing with it. |
| 20th June 2006 | Had an appointment with the Plastic Surgeon. He said I couldn't have a silicone implant straight away but he could put in an expander and they would insert saline solution into it every 3/4 weeks until my skin had stretched enough and then the expander would be replaced with a silicone implant. |
| 21st June 2006 | Had a home visit from the Breast Care nurse. Also in between appointments etc we were very busy on the farm which took my mind off the it. I wasn't worried about the operation but about any spread of cancer that there might be. |
| 23rd/24th June 2006 | Charlie and Carol came up for the weekend. I was due to be supporting on the Bob Graham in the Lakes and after much consideration decided to go. I wasn't sick as such and didn't want to let people down either. I found the other runners and supporters marvellous and it was a very good decision to go up. |
| 1st July | I decided that after 5 years of dying my own hair and never having it cut to have a proper colour and cut. This took all afternoon and I came out with lovely curly, blondish neck length hair. |
| 2nd July | Steve and I ran up to a special place on the moors called Rocking Stones and had a picnic. We made a decision to go back on Christmas Day. |
| 3rd July | Was admitted into Pinderfields about 3pm. I had a very sleepless night as the other 2 patients on the ward fell asleep with the tv on very loud then snored a lot. I doubt I would have slept much anyway. |
| Monday 4th July 2006 | I had lots of pre-tests but was
told that I was now first on the list and so would be going down at 9.30am
which was good. I kept wanting to cry and was glad when it was time to go. When I came round and looked at the clock and it was 12.15 and I said "its all done" and the nice nurse said "yes dear its all done" and I felt so much happier. Steve had rung so knew I was out early and it was lovely to see him as I wasn't expecting him until 5pm. He brought food too !!! I wanted to get up and the nurses said I could walk around the hospital with Steve. One really nice thing was that while I was being operated on my room mates had changed. Now I had Eline and Vera. Neither liked tv or snored. They were real characters and Vera was quite ill but still managed to smile. I spent the evening rearranging my flowers and changing into my night clothes out of my gown. Everything was such an effort but I didn't want to just lie down. |
| 5th /6th July | I was recovering very well but the drain I had in was still draining a lot. It was so hot in hospital though and when the nurse said I could go home with the drain I wanted to. |
| 7th - 12th July | I did have a lot of visitors when I got home which gave me a lot of support. I went to have the drain checked nearly every day and it was always draining too much to come out. In the end they said to come back in 3 days which gave me and Steve the opportunity to go away to Wales for a couple of days. It was very nice to get away. We went for a couple of walks but didn't do very much really. I hadn't had the results of the tests done on the lymph nodes yet either which was a constant worry. |
| I had to ban myself from breast cancer forums and allowed myself to play games on the computer instead when I was feeling depressed. I had massages and did exercises. I got tired of crying and being fed up and unmotivated. | |
| Friday 14th July 2006 | Test results day. When the doctor told me I couldn't believe what I was hearing and had to look at the nurse for confirmation. Grade 2 cancer, no lymph nodes affected and so probably no chemo. They had to check with the oncologist but it was still good. I would have to be on Tamoxifen for 5 years and have yearly mammograms on the other side. |
| That was the catalyst for me getting better. I started to drive, booked myself a massage and on Sunday walked up to Holme Moss and supported a fell race there with Steve. | |
| 17th July | Drain out ! |
| 19th July | Went for a little run - I had scoured the internet and bought a Grade 4 sports bra where nothing moved at all. Felt odd but didn't hurt. |
| 21st July | Went for expansion but unbeknown to me I was supposed to have been given a magnet when I left hospital in order for them to locate the port on my expander - without it I couldn't be expanded. |
| 24th July | Ran the Trunce - a 4 mile fell race. Set off ok but found it very hard. My legs felt like they each weighed 5 stone. I was glad I had done it though when I finished. |
| 4th August | Went for expansion but still no
magnet and so no expansion. This time I was really upset. All the swelling
had gone down and I was very lopsided. I got home and couldn't stop crying.
It was awful. My dad had come down from Scotland to see me and Charlie and
Carol were up from London and I was so miserable. I decided on Sunday to
write a letter as I couldn't wait another 4 weeks for another appointment
thinking that no-one was actually doing anything to find a magnet. I wrote
it and posted it and felt better. I did try to buy one myself but they come in the pack with the expander - I even tried ebay !!! |
| 12th August | Went up to Galloway and did the Heart of Granite with Amanda. This is a 20 mile race but over very rough terrain. I really enjoyed being back in some proper hills. |
| 1st September | During the week Mr Fourie's secretary had rung me to apologize as he had been on holiday and had just seen my letter. An appointment was made for me on Friday 1st. I had 100ml and it felt odd watching it but didn't hurt and I was so pleased with it afterwards. I went playing netball that evening and happily showed them off to people. |
| 10th September | Me, Steve and his daughter Rosie ran the Yorkshireman Off Road Marathon to raise money for Challenge Cancer Through Adventure and Cancer Research. It was a very hot day but we were all very pleased with our times. |
| 15th September | Expansion 60ml |
| 10th October | Breast care check up at Dewsbury. Was a very long wait as women were being seen after having their 1st tests done so I didn't mind as they need more time. Just checked that I was ok on Tamoxifen which I am. |
| 20th October | Expansion 100ml - was painful that night but then ok. |
| 28/29th October | Did OMM with Steve in Galloway. By now I was back walling and farming as normal again. I had had a lot of massages mainly on the underarm area where the nerves and muscles had all been damaged. It was good to see the strength returning and walling was good training. |
| 10th November | Expansion 40ml and put on waiting list for operation to replace the expander with a silicone implant. I also agreed to having a smaller implant in the other side in order to equal the two up. |
| Christmas Day | Steve and I ran though the rain and fog to Rocking Stones and had a small bottle of champagne to celebrate being !!! |
| 4th January 2007 | Operation went very well. I was worried when I first saw them as they seemed huge but a lot of that was swelling which went down over a couple of weeks. |
| 1st March 07 | Nipple reconstruction. I wasn't that bothered at first about a nipple but as time went on it became more important. Mr Fourie made a very impressive job and I am very pleased with it. |
| 15th May 07 | Breast care check up. Examined breasts and said all ok. Asked about medication and were very impressed with my reconstruction. |
| 18th/19th May | Successfully completed the Paddy Buckley. |
| 14th June | Mammogram |
| 1st August | I hadn't received any results through so rang the X-ray department and my Breast Care nurse. The nurse replied by email to say the results were clear and then I received a letter that week too. |
| 14th August | After getting a lot of pain in the lower abdomen last Nov/Dec I went to have it checked out and have been for 2 ultra scans which have shown that I have a haemorrhaged cyst there and today a MRI scan. The Macmillan nurse rang the day after to say that the cyst isn't cancerous. I didn't think anyone thought it was as I wasn't getting the warning signs but it was still a relief to find out for definite. |
| 23rd August | Went to see gynaecologist to discuss the results. The cyst is in my fallopian tube and is 9cm and has to come out. Because I'm having one ovary and tube out the surgeon suggested that I have both out to reduce the risk of the breast cancer returning and to alleviate the risk of ovarian cancer. This decision has caused me distress in that I never really considered the cancer returning and it will be immediate menopause. |
| 4th September | The operation is going to be the 25th September at Pontefract. |
| 7th September | Still not happy about having both ovaries removed and contacted my Breast care nurse who has got me an appointment for Tuesday 11th. I hope to get a clear idea of the pros and cons and be able to make a decision I am believe is right for me. |
| 13th September | I went on Tues to Breast care
doctor who said that although there would be a benefit it would be quite
small and they consider that I am covered with the Tamoxifen. The nurse took
me aside afterwards and said did I know I was having a hysterectomy. That's
the first we'd heard. So she made me appointment with the gynaecologist
surgeon today to sort it out. Think that was the final catalyst in me
deciding that I only want out what needs to come out ie. cyst I told him today that I don't want the other ovary or my womb removed and made sure on my pre assessment form that it is only right ovary removal that I'm down for. |
| 25th Sept 07 | Had the operation. Was very worried but it went well and I was home the day after. I spent 2 weeks "resting" although did do a lot of walking. Then was back running. I am very glad I went through with it. Its so nice to run without the pain coming on. |
| 15th Nov 07 | Went for a checkup with Dr Hunter. Everything has gone well and I am now officially discharged - brill ! |
I hope that what I have written above will help. I took photos of the various stages and if you would like to see them for reference then please contact me. I know how hard it can be to picture what the doctors are talking about. I would recommend having reconstruction as the finished effect is worth the extra effort and time.
I have worries about the cancer coming back but that's something everyone who has or had cancer has to live with.
I have found that being part of Challenge Cancer Through Adventure helps. Their website is Challenge Cancer Through Adventure